


A Lot Like Coming Home

by sugasets (beesuwal)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-24 00:13:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7485765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beesuwal/pseuds/sugasets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snapshots of a relationship while Tooru studies abroad for a semester.</p><p>Or — </p><p>Koushi misses Tooru in a variety of circumstances.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lot Like Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> Tooru and Koushi are roommates in the same university. The parts are in loose chronological order, and the timeline is quite flexible.

**1\. in leaving**

Koushi doesn’t quite know what to do with his hands.

Tooru does. He slots his fingers in the spaces between Koushi’s so that his hands don’t have room to shake, anymore. Tooru is bright, and blinding, but so seamless in Koushi’s space that Koushi longs to say _home is when you are here with me._

Tooru touches the tips of his sneakers with Koushi’s. Koushi swallows his longing back, because Tooru’s eyes shine with both heartache and a tentative kind of excitement, and Koushi wants to push him in the right direction. Tooru has wanted to make this journey for a while now, to discover what life means outside of Japan’s terms. Koushi will be damned first before he deprives his boyfriend of that opportunity.

So instead, Koushi reaches up to press lightly against Tooru’s lips. He knows that this is his goodbye.

“Hey,” Tooru murmurs after they part, nudging Koushi’s temple. It’s _will you be okay?_ in Tooru-code, and Koushi has to refrain from snorting. _Tooru, you’re the one living abroad. Alone. For months._

Instead: “You’re ridiculous,” Koushi sniffs.

(It’s Koushi-speak for _god, do I adore you_.)

He misses the steady heat of Tooru’s hands even hours after Tooru’s plane departs.

 

**2\. in beginning**

Koushi has about a month left until his second year of university starts, so he fills up his days with popsicles from Coach Ukai’s store and the occasional volleyball match with the neighborhood association or his former team. It’s summer, which means the days are hot, but more importantly, _long_. He’s not required to do much work at all, but Koushi resolves to be as productive with his time as can be, if only to take his mind off the gap Tooru has left behind.

Koushi volunteers at the Lil Tykes Volleyball Classroom, where Tooru coaches kids during his free time. Koushi is not the best with kids (that’s always been Tooru’s specialty), but the kids are so enthusiastic and receptive, sharing their bentos with Koushi and asking him to pinch-serve for their receive practice. Koushi warms up to them quickly. He thinks Tooru would be proud of him.

Sometimes, Takeru, Oikawa’s nephew who is enrolled in the program, comes up to Koushi after class and holds his hand. Takeru doesn’t offer an explanation, and Koushi doesn’t press him for one — but the fourth time Takeru approaches, he mumbles, _Sorry, Suga-san._   _I just miss Uncle Tooru._

Koushi squeezes his fingers and tries to smile hard enough for both of them. _Me, too,_ he thinks.

 

**3\. in comfort**

But, Koushi knows Tooru will never let something as trifling as distance get in the way of their relationship. Not bright, blinding Tooru, who, in high school, had willingly walked an extra mile every day just to visit Koushi after school.

Tooru is beginning to settle in the hustle and bustle of things in Korea, which means he texts Koushi every time he so much as makes a new friend or goes to class.

_Kou-chan, I moved in today! I’m so tired! Give me a massage! （￣□￣；）_

_My professor in Chemistry talks way too fast. I’m still polishing my Korean, you know! Help me, Kou-chan! (/□＼*)・゜_

_Kou-chan, the dining hall has some spicy tofu dish for dinner. Thinking of you. (But no way in heck am I going to eat it, you devil.)_

As lonely as Koushi feels with Tooru so far away, Tooru never makes it hard for Koushi to smile. Daichi teases him about the dopey look on his face every time he receives one of Tooru’s texts. Koushi doesn’t mind, to be honest.

Whenever Koushi imagines the way Tooru’s nose scrunches as he pouts, Koushi is simply defenseless.

 

**4\. in routine**

Koushi’s new favorite application is Skype.

Koushi’s second year of university begins just after Tooru’s first round of exams, which he aces, of course. The timing makes it easy for them to establish a rhythm and to settle into a more or less comfortable routine.

They usually Skype at night, when it’s late enough that Koushi’s apartment is asleep, but not so late that the sky is any color but black. Tooru is a night owl, and Koushi learns to be one, too, and he is thankful that Japan and Korea don’t have a time difference.

They swap stories often, about the volleyball team Tooru has tried out for or the classes that Koushi is enjoying, but some nights they like to bask in each other’s quiet. Koushi especially loves these nights. There’s a certain comfort in listening to Tooru mumble translations under his breath as he writes a poem for Literature; a certain comfort in reading his textbook while Tooru hums to himself on the other end of the line. It’s almost like Tooru is there, with Koushi, across the room where Koushi can reach him.

Koushi still misses him like hell, but Tooru’s calls help him breathe a little easier.

 

**5\. in intimacy**

Tooru sends Koushi a link to a playlist the night before the latter’s Biology midterm. Their music tastes span a broad range and don’t align often, but Koushi always enjoys the songs Tooru handpicks for him. Koushi is staying up late tonight in order to fit in some last-minute studying. He appreciates the sweet gesture from Tooru.

He listens to the playlist as he highlights and rewrites his notes. A lot of the songs are about spaceships and Saturn’s rings and adventure, but Koushi’s favorites are the ones about the stuff of stars, shooting stars, and _you’re my star, Koushi! The star to rule all stars!_

(It’s easy to imagine Tooru saying the most ridiculous, heartwarming things.)

Koushi looks out his window, at the twinkling points of light scattered across the dark. Tooru might be asleep, but he could also be laying in bed awake, staring at the same sky. Koushi has never stopped marvelling at that thought, ever since meeting Tooru.

 _I hope you think of me, my darling,_ Tooru had teased as they gazed at the great beyond, once upon a time on a hill in Miyagi, when summer had felt endless.

“Always,” Koushi murmurs.

 

**6\.  in promises**

Before the semester gets too hectic, Tooru’s newfound friends decide to bring him around tourist spots in Seoul.

The night before his trip, Tooru shows Koushi a lock that he’s bought. It’s a medium-sized, bright orange cube, the kind Koushi used to have on his locker in Karasuno. Tooru waves it in front of his laptop camera, his cheeks pink and his expression almost shy. Koushi thinks it’s cute.

“You’re really cute,” Koushi smirks, which makes Tooru whine in embarrassment.

“Anyway,” Tooru begins, clearing his throat, “tomorrow, we’re going to N Seoul Tower.” He twists the lock in his hand to show Koushi his neat handwriting in permanent black marker. Koushi can make out the characters of their names, separated by a heart.

“Uh, so. There are fences there where couples hang locks. To symbolize eternity. And I wanted to hang one for us. Is that okay?”

Tooru’s voice wobbles a little on the question, like it did when he confessed for the first time almost a year and a half ago. Suddenly, Koushi feels like crying. He thinks it’s a little dumb, to cry over a piece of hardware, but Tooru’s face is earnest even in its pixelation, and Koushi wants to say _I would marry you in a heartbeat._

Koushi buries his face in his hands.

“Koushi?!”

“I wish I were there with you, Tooru,” Koushi chokes.

He can hear Tooru whimper, which tells him Tooru is trying not to break down into waterworks as well. They’re such a wreck, unable to cry without affecting each other, but Koushi wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Koushi,” Tooru stutters. “To — To forever, okay?”

Koushi beams, sniffling all the while, and it’s answer enough for Tooru.

 

**7\. in doubt**

The first time Tooru fails to pick up a call from Koushi, Koushi tells himself that it’s fine.

It is, really. Koushi can be realistic, especially when it comes to Tooru, and the reality is that Japan and everything in it just isn’t top of mind for Tooru right now. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing; if anything, Koushi is proud that Tooru is making the most out of his semester-only experience in Korea. They’re both busy college students, with their own classes and laundry and general university lives to think about. Koushi doesn’t expect Tooru to devote all of his free time to talking to Koushi, nor does Tooru expect the same of him.

Tooru apologizes the very next day anyway, frantically explaining that he had gone to bed right after volleyball practice, and _it won’t happen again, Kou-chan! Promise!_

Except it _does_ happen again, and the next time it isn’t even Tooru’s fault. Koushi had stayed up all night to write a paper due at seven in the morning and just couldn’t afford to be distracted.

 _Distracted?_ Koushi’s consciousness rallies back at him. The voice in Koushi’s head sounds angry and hurt and if Koushi imagines hard enough it will begin to sound like Tooru. _Tooru is a distraction to you?_

“No,” Koushi mumbles, his stomach churning.

 

**8\. in anxiety**

Sometimes Koushi lies awake at three in the morning, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on their ceiling. Koushi remembers taking a ladder and some super glue and scattering luminescence above both of their beds, just in time for Tooru’s first day of final examinations the previous year. Koushi’s chest constricts at the memory of Tooru’s breathless grin, but he remains on his back, looking resolutely up at the dim light.

Koushi wonders if Tooru had placed glow-in-the-dark stickers in his room as well. He wonders if Tooru is staying up late, watching volleyball matches on his laptop or maybe even just staring at the ceiling, like Koushi.

He wonders if the more frequently missed calls are tearing at Tooru’s resolve like they do with Koushi’s, if Tooru is reverting to his old habit of dealing with his demons all on his own. Koushi hates that they’re both alone at night, when they’re both so vulnerable to the poison in their heads. Koushi hates that he can’t soothe Tooru’s creased brow or kiss the side of his mouth when Tooru’s eyes cloud over with uncertainty.

He wonders if Tooru is homesick. Koushi is still in Japan, but he thinks he might know a little bit of what that’s like.

But above all, Koushi just wonders how Tooru is doing right now, because he doesn’t know. (Which really, really scares Koushi.)

 

**9\. in mending**

When the Skype call connects and Tooru’s face shows up on Koushi’s laptop screen, Koushi breaks.

“Koushi,” Tooru breathes, swallowing around his name, and Koushi’s hand quivers as he reaches forward. The sigh of both relief and worry is caught somewhere in his breast, swelling against his rib cage as he attempts to touch Tooru’s face through the screen. Tooru looks exhausted, cheeks sunken and lips chapped, and Koushi would give the world just to hold him close.

“Koushi,” Tooru murmurs. There’s urgency in his tone, as if the sight of Koushi’s bloodshot eyes had frightened him. “Koushi, I love you a lot, yeah?”

It’s so _Tooru_ for Tooru to reassure Koushi before considering anything else, even his own well-being, and Koushi’s insides fill with dread at the thought of Tooru neglecting to take care of himself. Koushi scrubs a hand over his eyes.

“Yeah,” he affirms quietly. “I’m sorry, Tooru.”

Tooru shakes his head. “Both of our faults,” he says. 

Koushi juts his lower lip out in a pout, which startles a laugh out of Tooru. The tension eases from both sets of shoulders, and all Koushi can think about is how he could have gone on for as long he did without seeing the smile on Tooru’s face.

Tooru eyes gleam with something like resolve. It drives Koushi forward. “I’ll come back to you,” Tooru says, like he means it in every sense. “Wait for me.”

Koushi does.

 

**10\. in returning**

“I’m going to see you soon, Koushi! Really, really soon!” Tooru yells into the receiver, his voice breathy as if he were running towards his gate. Koushi knows for a fact that Tooru is way too early for his flight at 9AM, and that it’s way too early for Koushi to be awake, but he can’t bring himself to mind.

None of that compares to the anticipation that settles in his bones, a brand of heat that Koushi has never felt before. Koushi misses Tooru the most in this very moment; with Tooru so close yet still not _here_ , when all that separates them now is a few hours and a plane ride. But, he bears the ache a little longer, knowing that, soon, he won’t have to miss Tooru anymore.

Tooru is coming back.  

“I love you, Tooru,” Koushi declares, and this warmth, electric and new, exploding in Koushi’s chest, feels a lot like coming home.

**Author's Note:**

> For OiSuga Week 2016; Day 6: animals / **distance**. 
> 
> I took inspiration from my own experiences, and it turned into this fluffy thing. (I want to say that I didn't mean for it to be as sappy as it is, but I did, so.) As an international student in university, distance is one of the constants in my life, and so I'm thankful that I had been able to write about it in some form.
> 
> I had a lot of vignettes and vignette ideas written down for this fic, but I decided to cut down to the most essential ones. They are all still in my drafts actually and I’m considering making this a series in the future! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! c: Also found on [Tumblr](http://sugasets.tumblr.com/post/147399078383/a-lot-like-coming-home).


End file.
